Saying Goodbye to Your Foster Kids

“A” came to us almost a month ago now. It was late in the evening, sometime in the middle of the week. The caseworker dropped her off with a bag of clothes and her favorite stuffed doll. She appeared very quiet and reserved but didn't have a problem letting us hold her. Although it was way past the kids bedtime when she arrived. We let them stay up and watch “A” open the gifts we had picked out for her earlier that day. Though at her young age she was more interested in the gift wrap than the actual gifts.

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I Didn't Expect This When We Started Fostering

The bonds formed between me and the men that fought at my side in Afghanistan were unique. They were so deep that we were willing to sacrifice our lives for each other. In fact, the friends I saw killed in action apologized as they died. They apologized for not being able to fight at my side any longer.

What could possibly form bonds that carry that type of selfless love? Do the same elements that form those bonds exist in fostering?

I am not suggesting that war is analogues to fostering. Fostering can be challenging but trust me, it is not war. What I am suggesting is that much like the shared experiences that bonded my brothers in arms and I, my family has grown closer because of the mission, sacrifice, and loss that we share through fostering.

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I Got Into Fostering For The Wrong Reasons

I started fostering for the wrong reasons. I wanted to be a hero to children in need. We are called to so much more.

Serving as foster parents opens up opportunities to minister to a whole host of people: state employees, agency employees, the children's parents and of course the children. Some of you have a heart like my wife; who, despite knowing the circumstances surrounding the removal of our foster children from their homes has nothing but love for the child's parents. Others of you find it very challenging to have anything but hate and contempt for the parents who neglected or abused their child. If you fall into the later category, like me you might justify your feelings with the idea that you are saving your foster children; protecting them from the evil harm of their abusive parents. Noble. But we are called to so much more

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You Have a Part to Play In Foster Care

Have you heard of the fine tuning theory? In his book, “On Guard”, William Craig writes, “The so-called weak force, one of the four fundamental forces of nature, which operates inside the nucleus of an atom, is so finely tuned that an alteration in its value by even one part out of 10 to the 100th power would have prevented a life permitting universe! Similarly, a change in the value of the so-called cosmological constant, which drives the acceleration of the universe’s expansion, by as little as one part in 10 to the 120th power would have rendered the universe life prohibiting.The fine-tuning here is beyond comprehension. Having an accuracy of even one part out of 10 to the 60th power is like firing a bullet toward the other side of the observable universe, twenty billion light-years away, and nailing a one inch target!”

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It Takes This Type of Courage to Foster

‘Operation Strong Eagle II’, an extension of ‘Operation Strong Eagle’ where my battalion fought to push back the Taliban’s stronghold over the Ghaki mountain valley in Kunar province, Afghanistan. Having been successful in ‘Strong Eagle’ at liberating the Marawara and Daridam villages of Ghaki valley. We angered several hundred Taliban fighters and now ventured to push further towards the Pakistan border.

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Why I Became a Foster Dad

My wife came to me one day and asked me to consider foster parenting. My gut instinct was an immediate no. I felt a strong need to guard my children. A foster child seemed like a threat to them. A threat to their time with me, and their innocence. Then I began to think about my time. [No way, man!] I told Stephanie that I wasn't interested - And that was that. Or so I thought. I started to loose sleep. I wrestled with the idea daily. God worked on softening my heart over a period of months. To the point of feeling excited about the opportunity. The day we started to fill out an application we got a call from CPS (Child Protective Services). The person on the other end of the line asking if we would take in our niece. It was a kinship placement there was no need for a foster license. God Had used the previous months to prepare my heart for this moment. We instantly recognized how God had orchestrated all of this.

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